Divorce Marriage

What to look for in a divorce attorney

The right divorce lawyer for you depends on what you need, and also on the personality and history of the marriage. 

Photo by Damian Siodłak on Unsplash

Sometimes you need a strong litigator, who can enforce boundaries. But if, as a couple, you have done the emotional work on fear, anger and resentment upfront, the divorce can be handled in a short time through mediation or collaboration.

You want an attorney who can listen, and who doesn’t bring personal ego to the table. Mediation and collaboration are there for the couple to write their own divorce agreement within the boundaries of the law, but not necessary according to the law.

I believe in a sustainable agreement that serves the family in the long run, rather than one that is exactly according to the law.

It is when fear, anger and resentment drive you when instructing an attorney that you have a fight. Attorneys need to follow instructions. They only hear one side of the argument. Attorneys are not trained to deal with emotions; they are trained how to prove your case as right. Now, if you have two attorneys on opposite sides, both trying to be right, who is actually right?

The more you work through your emotions before the divorce, the less acrimonious it will be.