Failure to plan for divorce is a divorce which will fail

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Divorce litigation can have far reaching effects on a family not just emotionally but economically as well. A recent article in a prominent financial magazine indicated that it can take parties up to 10 years to recover from an aggressive divorce litigation.
There are alternatives to a litigation, including collaborative law and mediation. Both of these are great alternatives to litigation but not always the way to go for all parties.

If you are considering getting divorce I would advise the following:

1. Take your time, do not rush off to an attorney’s office without having worked through your emotions with a life coach or other professional. You will need the right kind of support during the divorce.

2. Think about the children and how this could affect them. For example it might not be possible for the parent how will primary look after the children to stay in the house for financial reason. How should this be death with?

3. Put yourself in the other parties shoes and ask yourself if you would be content with this, if not why not, and how can this be fixed.

4. Make peace with the fact that you will not get everything that you want and that nobody win in divorce litigation, even your attorney who will take the stress of the divorce upon themselves pays with their health.

5. Budget for your divorce, and keep to the budget.

6. Talk to the other party about the fact that you want to get divorced, if necessary with the help of a professional. Many people were unaware that their partner wants a divorce and the blow of being served divorce paper are normally met with aggression, which will only fuel divorce

7. Try collaborative law or mediation before starting to litigate.

8. Draw up a realistic income and expenditure sheet, not one based on what you want, but one that reflex both parties decisions in your lifestyle choices. Keep proof of all of these expenses over at least three months. An example can be downloaded here.

9. Draw up a fair division of assets.

The people how are the most successful in divorce did not have the most aggressive or expensive attorneys but they planned and followed their plan.

Monja Posthumus-Meyjes
Senior Associate Schuld attorneys

 
Download : Monthly expenses list.xls

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